Mommy Rant: The “Terrible Twos”

Hey everyone! It’s been a little while since I’ve done a mommy rant, so here comes one I know pretty much ALL moms know all too well: the terrible twos.

My little one has always been active (I blame the fact that I had to chase 2-3 year olds all day and could not do so without the max amount of caffeine allowed while pregnant). She has always been resourceful and stubborn (see my past posts about this here and here). Now we’re adding testing the waters of independence to the list.

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I can handle being told “no.” I can handle coloring on the walls. I can handle the “I don’t want to eat anything.” But what I can’t handle is my toddler trying to be independent in the most DANGEROUS ways. My kid now wants to go up and down the stairs unsupervised, touch hot things, and lock herself in rooms. She’s a freaking sneak about it too. She looks to see if I’m paying attention or, you know God forbid, IN THE BATHROOM before she does something that’s going to land her in the ER. I swear she does it to spite me when I’m not giving her my undivided attention 24/7. The craziest part is, she’s not even trying to get my attention! If she was trying to show me something, I’d at least engage her. She could be building with blocks, look over, see I’m not looking, and decide “hey, mommy left a knife WAAYYY back on the counter. She thinks I can’t get it? HA. Let’s get a chair.” Kid, seriously? You don’t even want to pull up your own EFFING pants, but sure!

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I’ll give you a real life example. She knows she’s not allowed in the bathroom by herself, and usually if I see her meandering in that direction I remind her not to go in there. Now our bathroom has the sink and vanity right up against where the door is, and the door swings in. So if one were to shut the bathroom door and open the cabinets and doors closest to the door, the door won’t open.

I had made waffles and my husband and I were sitting at the kitchen table eating. I all of a sudden noticed the dreaded silence of a child who is up to no good. So I call her, and she doesn’t answer. I see the bathroom door is leaned closed almost all the way, which is her M.O. when she sneaks in there. I go over to the door, and the little shit had BARRICADED herself in the bathroom by shutting the door and opening all the cabinets and drawers. So my husband and I are frantically screaming through the crack in the door for her to shut all the cabinets and drawers. After about a minute and a half she finally complies, and my husband sits her in her room in time out.

About a thousand tears and hugs later, we explained to her that what she had done wasn’t safe. What if she had gotten a boo-boo and we couldn’t get in to help her? She apologized to us, but she’s two, so we’ll see how long that lasts. We immediately made a little run to Tar-jey and grabbed some of those doorknob guards for babyproofing, which are working for now (again, we’ll see how long that deters her before she figures it out).

Ok, everyone that’s my little story. What’s yours? Tell us your terrible-twos horror stories down in the comments. Did you find that anything helped behaviors like these? Tell us that, too!

As always, thanks for reading, and until next time!

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