Hi everyone… Sorry I didn’t get to post yesterday, but I promise I’ll have a two-fer for you tomorrow!
Today I’m coming to you with some things that have been irking the hell out of me over the last few weeks.
Disclaimer: if you can’t handle cussing or graphic (but very accurate) depictions of motherhood, ya might want to skip this one.
1. My kid has been sick for 3 days, which means I haven’t slept in 3 days. The first night she was dealing with a bellyache from constipation. I had to give her an enema. Day 2, she woke up at 12:30 having thrown up everywhere, and didn’t stop doing so until 8:30. Today, we had a super busy day with appointments and she cried (collectively) for about 3 hours. I have never heard the word “mommy” so many times in my life. I am EXHAUSTED.
2. In the time she has been sick, I’ve been humoring her with Christmas episodes of her favorite shows. One in particular has made me want to put my first through the screen, and that is the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episode “Mickey Saves Santa.” Donald is a total shithead through the whole episode, constantly having to be reminded by Mrs. Claus to “be nice.” At the end, the crew gets one gift each, except for Donald who gets about 10 of them. Why, because he was “nice” for 2 minutes? What a fabulous message to send to kids: be a fucking brat and Santa will give you whatever you want.
3. My doctor is pushing meds on me, and I’m annoyed. I’ve gained weight since my physical in June, partially from anxiety, partially because I hate wasting food and my kid for a while thought I was her personal garbage disposal. Now it’s the holidays, and I swear, the first person to shove a cookie in my face after New Years is getting punched.
So that’s my mommy rant for the day! Tomorrow I’m going to come at you with 2 things to make up for the fact that I couldn’t post yesterday: you’re going to get a makeup tutorial AND a product review!
Thanks for reading, friends, and until tomorrow!